My Dog Owns My House

I figured there is no other way for me to get over this loss than to pour my heart out and not give a damn. So here is another post for you, baby boy. Tomorrow’s holiday gives me one more day to drain myself of sadness. And then I’ll get out of this mess and be a toughie like you were. (Warning: emotional)

There are certain spaces in your house owned by your dog — where he eats, where he sleeps, where he loves to hang out. It is in these places that you look for him first when you don’t know where he is. And usually when you’ve found him, he’d emerge with that puppy-look on his face, ready to be caressed or hugged or kissed.

Every now and then I look for Scotch, and I wish he’d emerge from the dark and walk slowly to me, head bowed down and all sleepy but wanting to be touched. He was mostly black so it’s hard to see him in the dark at night, but when he wakes up from his sleep and stands up, you’ll notice the sparkle in his eyes, and you’ll immediately see his white chest. I find it hard to go out of my room now because usually when he’s not sleeping upstairs, he’ll be looking up from his spot right in front of the steps, begging to be taken upstairs to sleep in an air-con room.

Now all I’d see is the yellow-lit marble floor.

Scotch owned every corner in this house. He reminds me of every mat he slept on when the weather was cold, every toy he used to play with, every bed sheet he comfortably snuggled on; even the door stopper he tried to steal a gazillion times just so we’d notice him and run after him.

I woke up late in the afternoon today and I wished, I so wished to hear his familiar paw steps on our wooden floor, or his angry barking when a cat comes too close or when a huge dog is walking right outside our gate. I thought that maybe anytime soon he’ll jump onto my bed and he’ll get my face all wet with his kisses. Or he’d scratch my door if it was locked. I’d get annoyed because I still want to sleep, but once he comes in and I see him, all annoyance will be gone. And then I’d tweet about it — there is always something nice to say about that darling.

But today, when I woke up, all I heard was silence. Even with the rain, the barking of the dogs from the other houses, the humming of the air-conditioner, all the random noises in the neighborhood… For me, there was only silence.

On Scotch: How I Met Scotch, What Does Dog Heaven Look Like?