So, it’s February. The first month of the year passed by like it didn’t even pass by. Do tell me if you feel the same way: so many things have happened in the past month and yet you feel it’s just not enough. In this era, it’s become almost human nature to try to dump every single wish or resolution or deadline or bucket list item in the first month of the year – that is, January – and then at the end of the month wonder why you have to postpone half of them to the next month, or the next year. It’s like trying to shoot five balls into one basket at the same time and wondering why they wouldn’t fit. The simple answer, which was obvious from the very beginning anyway, is that it just doesn’t fit. It’s like buying a tee shirt for a person half your size.
I was going through my past posts just a while ago, only to come up with the realization that I suck. I suck in that I have not been doing this the way I really want and mean to. I suck in this writing thing, and taking photos thing and editing them thing and this traveling thing and other things. There’s just so little me in it – like so many other blogs I’ve come across with the past couple of blog-hopping nights. It’s probably because of that fear we’ve all got to divulge too much of our lives and souls online. We filter so much of what we write that sometimes it just loses the whole essence of why we’re writing it in the first place. And then what was supposed to be an amazing story about how you felt you conquered the world for one moment… Un-magically transforms into how you walked your dog in the park one sunny day: Oh the weather is so lovely. La dee da dee da.
I really wanted to do a lot of things in January, and I did – except not the ones that are actually in my list. A cousin came home from the States so we were basically out of town every single weekend. I feel I have so many “backlogs” in terms of posts – so many things to share in the travel category. I thought it was awesome until I thought it wasn’t because I suck. And then I thought it’ll still be awesome because hey, you know, sucking is okay.
I mean it’s fine. I wasn’t born knowing how to handstand, for example – I had to learn it. I had to become an idiot and almost break my neck and fall a couple of times and, yes, suck. So here, reader (all two of you), is another suck-y post! Because if you don’t suck at at least one thing right now, then you’re probably not doing anything new or crazy enough.