Marks

I am writing on my Blackberry for the first time now. That’s how desperately I need to vent this out. I figured the only way I can sleep tonight is if I talk about it — or perhaps write about it.

This will be about you again, Scotchie. Because until now I hear your name everywhere. Scotch and everything that sounds like Scotch or baby or baby boy… They make my tummy turn and my heart beat wildly. (For a second there, it sounded like someone just broke up with me. Haha. But at least I can now joke about it — that’s a bit of an improvement.)

I found out today that every emotional entry I write makes at least two people cry. I hope this doesn’t, but if it does, that’s also fine. It’s absolutely natural to feel the way we do. This is all part of a tedious but much needed healing process.

I wish I could say that I’m over-reacting but I’m not. I figured not everybody will understand how this feels, and if they do, they probably won’t throw it out to the world. But I feel that I have to. You deserve this space. So I’d like to let you know, wherever you are baby boy, that back at home we’re thinking of you. You’ve left some pretty permanent marks back here. 🙂